


Clear Willed

by thehomefucker



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-08-14
Packaged: 2018-02-13 02:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2133837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehomefucker/pseuds/thehomefucker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He moved away too long ago, went to be with someone much more suited to his precious heart, but you never stopped hearing him. His gentle, lilting-voice became fainter with time and distance and your own ferocious will to separate yourself from the Master who decided not choose to you, but his strongest emotions never failed to flood your circuitry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clear Willed

**Author's Note:**

> Written after a friend's attempted suicide. Largely untouched emotional spam that's probably been done before oh-fuckin'-well I couldn't stop the pain until I wrote it down.

Though fifty years have wandered by—to be precise, fifty years, eleven months, nineteen days, three hours, forty-six minutes and eight-nine-ten seconds—you still don’t escape the moment Aoba dies.

He moved away too long ago, went to be with someone much more suited to his precious heart, but you never stopped hearing him. His gentle, lilting-voice became faint with time and distance and your own ferocious will to separate yourself from the Master who decided not choose to you, but his strongest emotions never failed to flood your circuitry.

You heard him singing off-key lullabies as the lavender morning spilled into his home. You heard every instance his electric-blue rage got the better of him. You even heard him sometimes gasp another person’s name, though you drowned that out as best you could because it’s Master’s private business, and now, just a second ago, you heard him sigh some wavering muddled word into the air and simply cease to be.

You didn't expect to feel like there’s too much inside you. You’d thought this inevitable moment would only renew the familiar hollowness, the emptiness you've grown accustomed to as life has moved along, but the spilling-over fullness deep within your core is new and unusual.

You wrap your arms around yourself, trying to keep in the brackish despair. It leaks from your face but nowhere else. You’d feel better, maybe, if your entire body was ruined in the overflow but it’s all in your head.

Aoba has always been just in your head.

His voice is all you've known. You doubt he’d even call you friends; really you were just a helpful acquaintance. He didn't even think to tell you “good-bye.” And, to be honest, it’s arrogant to think he should. He never asked for your pre-programmed loyalty. He didn't ask to be cloned and thrust down the throat of the person who created you, intended to use you, whom you betrayed for a Master who never could have wanted you.

You've listened when you shouldn't, drawn yourself into his life in ways he never asked. In ways he never knew. He’s always been your Master, of that you are sure, and today, clutched in your own arms, you are certain of one more thing. Just one single, trembling, horrible thing: you finally know what it means to be human.


End file.
